By Zan / July 17, 2021
When your ex sends you a friend request on Facebook, you have one of the best signs that your ex has processed the most smothering breakup emotions. You have a sign that he or she thinks it’s possible to get along and that staying unfriended feels morally wrong.
You probably still want your ex back—and that’s okay, but whatever you do, don’t mistake your ex’s friend request on social media for an invitation to get back on talking terms. If your ex doesn’t reach out after you’ve accepted/ignored his or her request, your ex isn’t quite ready for that yet.
Your ex may have realized that unfriending you was unfair, but your ex still needs some time to find a good reason to talk to you. This is why you mustn’t immediately contact your ex, thinking your ex wants you back. A Facebook/Instagram friend request from an ex merely shows that your ex doesn’t want to treat you like a stranger or an enemy and that he or she thinks it’s time to bury the hatchet.
Lots of dumpees make the mistake to reach out the moment they receive a friend request on Facebook or other social media accounts. They think that their ex has started to think and behave reasonably and that they mustn’t waste their one and only chance to get back with their ex.
Because of this thinking, they often show their ex that they still want to get back together and as a result, overwhelm their space-deprived ex and make it even harder for him or her to desire reconciliation.
Desperate dumpees completely slaughter the attraction that has accumulated during no contact.
So if your ex added you on Facebook (or accepted your request) and you’re wondering what that means, hold your horses for a minute. Don’t do anything rash. It most likely means that your ex has stopped feeling relieved and that he or she still needs to find a good reason to reach out.
It’d be wise not to give in to curiosity and temptations and contact your ex just to find out how your ex is doing emotionally.
Reaching out could get you the results you don’t want. It could force you to get:
It’s always best to let your ex take the initiative. Your ex was the one who left because of certain negative emotions, so let your ex deal with those emotions. Let him or her get to the emotional stage that makes him or her curious and nostalgic because that’s when your ex will ask you questions and show a lot more interest in you.
Today, I’ll answer the question, “What does it mean when your ex sends you a friend request on Facebook.” I’ll also share with you some possible incentives that stimulated your ex to send you a friend request.
Unless your ex was snooping around your profile and accidentally hit the “add friend” button, it’s obvious that your ex has made some emotional progress. Your ex has had enough space and time to heal to the point where adding you on Facebook helps your ex see himself or herself as a more valuable, kinder individual.
Adding you improves his or her self-perception and sets the foundation for personal growth to occur.
Believe it or not, but this is the most common reason why dumpers add their ex-partners on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and other social platforms. They do it to do the morally right thing.
But what are some other reasons your ex added you on Facebook all of a sudden?
If your ex isn’t the most self-conscious person, then it’s possible that your ex added you because he or she got curious about you and wanted to know what you’re up to by checking your pictures and posts. Or maybe your ex saw that you’re dating someone new and felt that it’s safe to add you because you won’t insist on getting back together.
There’s also the possibility that something bad happened to your ex- something that hurt your ex and triggered his or her fears, anxiety, and nostalgia. If that’s what happened, your ex added you because your ex lost personal power and wanted you to validate him or her with your attention and respect.
Whatever the case may be, your ex most likely didn’t add you for the reasons you may think he or she did – to stalk you and inconspicuously crawl back into your life. Dumpers just aren’t that prudent. They don’t think far into the future because the present is all that matters to them.
I’ve seen numerous dumpers come back and I can tell you that the majority of them came back spontaneously. Some had issues with their new partner and needed to encounter one final issue to push them over the edge and come back, but most of them came back within a few days of encountering a problem. This is because they were in pain and didn’t want to/couldn’t deal with pain on their own.
They wanted their ex to help them.
With that said, here are 6 reasons why your ex added you on Facebook.
So if you’re wondering, “What does it mean when your ex sends you a friend request on Facebook,” don’t assume that your ex’s Facebook friendship request means that your ex wants you back. Your ex might want you back one day, but probably not the moment he or she clicks that “add friend” button.
As I said a moment ago, most dumpers who want their ex back want to talk to their ex right away and discuss meeting up.
They don’t want to wait for their ex to accept the friendship first and then slowly come back. When pain, unease, and regret kick in, dumpers run back as fast as greased lightning.
Provided that you’re in no contact, your ex probably occasionally looks at your profile (many dumpers do). He or she gets curious and scrolls through your profile to see what you’ve been up to and who you’ve been hanging out with.
Your ex probably wants to know if you’ve met someone new. Someone who distracts you from thinking about him/her and makes you happy. Knowing who you’re with, what you’re doing, and where you’re at reduces your ex’s curiosity.
So yes, your ex probably looks at your Facebook profile as well as other social profiles from time to time. Especially if you were in a long-term relationship with him or her because that would mean that you are still on your ex’s subconscious mind.
Your ex remembers you when your ex does things that you previously did with him/her.
I asked dumpers on the Magnet of Success Discord server about this and here are the answers they gave. Feel free to add your answer to make the poll more accurate.
A few of my clients were confused about their ex’s behavior and wanted to know why their ex would send them a friend request and remove it later. Why not just leave the request since it’s already been sent?
I tell my clients that their ex either clicked it accidentally (unlikely) or that their ex wanted to be friends with them at first but then changed his or her mind.
The latter happens from time to time because some exes don’t know what they want. They’re often confused, have doubts, feel hurt, or guilty, so they make highly emotional/spontaneous decisions. Decisions that change as quickly as their emotions do.
That’s probably why your ex sent you a friend request and deleted it shortly after. He or she must have thought that it was too soon to befriend you and that being your friend could give you the wrong idea – that you want to get back together.
Your ex essentially chose the safest route because this route allowed your ex to live peacefully without worrying about whether you’re going to beg and plead, cry, complain, or accuse him or her of something.
Many dumpers contemplate sending their ex a friend request. But because they’re afraid of how their ex will feel and respond, they postpone it for a while. They discern it’s better not to talk than to talk and have an uncomfortable conversation.
So if your ex sent you a friend request and deleted it afterward, act as if your ex didn’t send you the request at all. Your ex clearly isn’t ready for friendship yet, and neither should you force him or her to be. It’s best that you wait for your ex to send you that request again and reach out first.
If you’re a dumpee, you shouldn’t talk to your ex until you and your ex are both ready to talk.
You’ll know your ex is ready when he or she takes the initiative, and you’ll know you’re ready when you feel in control of your emotions and are mostly or fully over your ex.
Whether you accept your ex’s friend request is completely up to you. But before you make your decision, I think you should think about whether you’re ready to receive updates about your ex. Can you handle seeing your ex dating someone new and/or having a blast without you? If you can, you’re probably over your ex and can become your ex’s friend on social media.
Seeing your ex or talking to him or her poses no risk to your emotional health.
But if the thought of your ex dating someone else gives you anxiety and affects your self-esteem, then you may want to think twice before you become social media friends with your ex.
Of course, you could always mute or unfollow your ex right away, but there’s always a chance that you’ll come across something you aren’t ready to see and suffer a painful setback.
Keep in mind that not accepting your ex won’t decrease your chances of reconciliation, but it will boost your hope for reconciliation, deepen your emotional dependency, and increase the time it takes to get over your ex.
That’s why you have a very important decision to make. You can accept your ex’s friendship invitation and risk getting hurt or you can leave your relationship status as it is and keep healing. The choice is yours to make.
Did you learn what it means when your ex sends you a friend request on Facebook? Let me know what you think by commenting below.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
